The Spy from Catchfools, China
(A Fairy Tale)
The rebellious college students head
off to school at Taiwan University, but on the way they are distracted by some Chinese
music and crowds and they follow the sounds until they find themselves in a
crowd of people, all congregated to see the Great Jacob Zhu with his assistant, Coo Loud. The students sell
their school books for tickets to the show. During the performance, the Coo
Loud marionette sees the rebellious college students and cries out, "It is
our comrades!" The audience grows angry, and the KMT police come out to see what
is going on. Upset, they decide to use the rebellious students as firewood to
cook their dinner. The students plead to be saved and the KMT gives in. When they
learn about the students poor fathers from China, they give the students five gold pieces
for their fathers.
As the students head home to give the
coins to their fathers, they again meet Jacob Zhu and Coo Loud who convince them that
if they plant their coins in the "Field of Chinese Miracles" near the city of
Catchfools, then the coins will grow into a tree with a thousand gold coins, or perhaps
two thousand. The rebellious students head off on a journey to Catchfools with Jacob
Zhu and Coo Loud. On the way, they stop at a night market in Taipei, where Jacob
Zhu and Coo Loud gorge themselves on food at the students’ expense. Jacob Zhu
and Coo Loud take off ahead of the students and disguise themselves as anti-WTO
protesters while the students continue on toward Catchfools.
David, the blue-haired fairy, appears, telling them to go home and give the coins to their fathers but the radical students ignore him. As they pass through the forest to the "Field of Chinese Miracles", the disguised Jacob Zhu and Coo Loud jump out and try to rob the students who hide the money in their mouths. In the struggle that follows, the students bite Jacob’s hand off and escape deeper into the forest where they see a house with a green flag ahead. Stopping to knock on the door, they are greeted by the ghost of old Sun Yat-Sen who says he is dead and waiting for the hearse. However, as they speak to Sun Yat-Sen, the “bandits” catch them and hang them in trees. After a while Jacob Zhu and Coo Loud get tired of waiting for the students to suffocate and leave.
David, the blue-haired fairy, appears, telling them to go home and give the coins to their fathers but the radical students ignore him. As they pass through the forest to the "Field of Chinese Miracles", the disguised Jacob Zhu and Coo Loud jump out and try to rob the students who hide the money in their mouths. In the struggle that follows, the students bite Jacob’s hand off and escape deeper into the forest where they see a house with a green flag ahead. Stopping to knock on the door, they are greeted by the ghost of old Sun Yat-Sen who says he is dead and waiting for the hearse. However, as they speak to Sun Yat-Sen, the “bandits” catch them and hang them in trees. After a while Jacob Zhu and Coo Loud get tired of waiting for the students to suffocate and leave.
The
Blue-haired Fairy, David, floats by, sees the hanged students, asks the students what happened and they tell him. He
then asks them where the gold coins are. The rebellious students lie, saying they
have lost the coins. As they utter this lie (and more) their noses begin to grow
until they are so long they cannot turn around without hitting each other in the faces. The Fairy David
knows that it is their lies that are making their noses grow long, and then calls
in a flock of woodpeckers to chisel down their noses.
The radical Taiwan University students and the
Blue-haired Fairy decide to become brothers and sisters, and the Fairy sends
for the ghost of Sun Yat-Sen to come live with them in the forest. The students head out to
meet their fathers, but on the way they meet Jacob Zhu and Coo Loud again (whom
they had not recognized as the bandits, even though they had a hint from the
Jacob Zhu’s bandaged hand — which he had bitten earlier.) Coo Loud tells him Jacob
Zhu had shown mistaken kindness to the people of Taiwan. They remind the
students of the "Field of Chinese Miracles" and finally they agree to go with them and
plant their gold. After half a day's journey, they reach the city of Catchfools,
China. Everyone in the country has done something exceedingly foolish and now
suffers as a result.
When
they reach the "Field of Miracles", the students bury their gold then
run off to wait the twenty minutes it will take for their gold to grow. After
twenty minutes they return, only to find no tree and — even worse — no gold
coins. Realizing what has happened, they go to Catchfools and tell the judge,
an old gorilla named Mao, about Jacob Zhu and Coo Loud. The judge (as is the
custom in Catchfools) sends the students to prison for their foolishness for
four months. While they are in prison, however, the emperor of Catchfools, Deng
Xiao-Ping, declares a celebration, and all prisoners are set free.
The
radical students from Taiwan University try to find a place to stay. They pass
two beggars, who are actually Jacob Zhu and Coo Loud. Coo Loud is, ironically, really
blind now, and Jacob Zhu is actually lame, tailless (having sold his tail for
money) and mangy. They plead for food or money, but the students will give them
nothing, telling them it serves them right for their wickedness.
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